One Year as an Expat

It’s been one year since we packed up our lives and moved to Amsterdam. I wanted to take some time to reflect on what this year has been like and what expat life is like!

First, I guess it might be useful to go into some backstory.

How did we get here?

I have always dreamed of living in another country. I used to really want to do a study abroad or be an exchange student, but I just never made it happen. I had excuse after excuse.

A few years ago when Austin was working for Adidas, we started talking about the possibility that maybe one day we could move to the location of another Adidas office. At this time we were newly engaged though so we put it off as a thing to figure out after the wedding.

About a year after the wedding, we were planning a trip to Europe for September 2019 as we had never been (Austin had been to Germany for work but that’s it, and I had never been at all). Austin was no longer working for Adidas but we figured we wanted to still move to Europe at some point anyway. We figured that getting someone to sponsor visas for us to allow us to move would be pretty difficult, so we thought we could use our trip as maybe a time to meet some people/companies and make some introductions. Austin started to reach out to a few people on LinkedIn. Much to our surprise, one of those recruiters had an opening and asked about interviewing him. When he mentioned I was a developer, they interviewed me too! That job didn’t work out, but another one Austin had reached out to actually did. When it became pretty clear Austin was probably going to get that job, I started looking for jobs as well. By the end of July 2019 (about 2 months after we had started) we both had job offers. Our visas were approved at the beginning of August and by August 28 we were in Amsterdam!

Visa Process

I can only speak for the Netherlands as I have no idea how other EU countries work but I wanted to mention this. In order to move to Europe as a US citizen you have to have some form of visa sponsorship. This could be a partnership with a Dutch person, going to college, starting a business, or, for Austin and I, getting a job that does visa sponsorship. Since we both work in tech it was rather easy as many tech jobs here will sponsor you under what is called a “Highly Skilled Migrant” visa. This one also gives you special privileges like for the first 5 years you don’t pay taxes on 30% of your income and you can switch your drivers license for an EU one without paying to take classes (why this is related, I have no idea). Getting sponsored for a tech job here was much easier than we thought it would be, but I really can’t speak to anything else (while Americans are banned from the EU right now, they are letting in Americans who have been hired under Highly Skilled Migrant visas! Just a note for those of you in tech - hit me up! ;) ) Those coming on Highly Skilled Migrant visas are also allowed to bring their family, who will be allowed to work regularly on the Dutch labor market (AKA: you don’t have to both work in tech - one of you can get the visa sponsorship and the other will be allowed to come along and will still be allowed to work!). Austin got his job several weeks before me so I originally came over as part of his visa as that made the processing much faster.

Moving Process

Once we had our visas approved, we arranged our move. Our companies both had relocation packages so we ended up with our plane tickets to Amsterdam paid for and one month in a hotel sponsored by the company. We opted not to ship anything and moved with only what fit in our suit cases (we flew with 3 suitcases each). Furnished apartments are relatively common here, so we planned to find one of those. Once we arrived we stayed in a hotel that allowed us to register (this is an important part). Living in the Netherlands, you are required to register with the gementee (basically city hall) that you live there. Once you are registered you can be assigned a BSN (basically a SSN) which you need to open a bank account and do lots of other things. Many hotels do not allow registration but the one we stayed in is intended for long stay/expats moving to NL so they do actually allow it. This was nice because it allowed us to take our time in finding a place to live (or at least, take a month!). Austin’s company set us up with IN Amsterdam to handle a lot of the original paperwork and visa processing which was nice. We had a BSN set up within 2 days of arrival, and bank accounts within about a week or so. Before that we mostly used cash, as it is pretty hard to pay with an American credit card here (except in a touristy location or a restaurant, but much harder at say…a grocery store).

The rental market is pretty competitive in Amsterdam so we did a lot of apartment searching at first. We ended up getting quite lucky in that a coworker of Austin’s owned a place in Haarlem. At first I thought Haarlem was too far away (about a 40 minute public transit commute to my office) but once we went to visit we fell in love immediately. We are very happy we went with Haarlem as it has all the charm of Amsterdam (architecture wise they are very similar) but without all the tourists and crowds. It is also only a 20 minute train ride into central Amsterdam which is quite nice. I feel like we have had a more authentic experience of the Netherlands by living in a smaller town! We also were able to afford more space - we have 2 bedrooms and a garden which is pretty rare in Amsterdam (and would have been much more expensive). This has been especially clutch in Corona times because we have outdoor space (and also enough room to both work from home and not hate each other!!)

What is it like?

Being an expat is definitely an adventure. I’d say that I’ve spent a lot of the first year feeling low key stupid and confused…a lot of the time. You really get forced out of your comfort zone pretty quickly. There is a constant question in the back of your mind when you encounter an unfamiliar situation of “is this unusual, or am I just confused because I’m not European?” A few examples, to clarify:

The grocery store becomes very stressful in a country you are unfamiliar with and a language you do not speak. The first few months grocery shopping took forever as I spent half the time with Google Translate open trying to decipher the packaging to find what I was looking for. The other problem is that my recipes are all American, and sometimes I don’t know what the equivalent product would be if it isn’t something basic, so that’s another hurdle - “Can I buy tortillas here? Will their tortillas be any good? Will I have to make my own? “ (The answer is: yes they do, no they won’t, and yes if you want them to be really good - though we’ve found some tolerable ones). Things like cheddar cheese, baking soda, and vanilla extract all took me about 6 weeks to find. Grocery shopping can also be really fun though because you wander around and find things you’ve never seen before to try! Yes I do want all of the Stroopwafels and this magical Oreo candy bar!!

It is very common (at least in tech it seems) for people to eat at the office. There is always bread, yogurt, milk, cereal for breakfast and at lunch there is prepared food. In my first couple of days we took a break for snack and because I was very unfamiliar with what everything was I decided to just not eat. Luckily the Dutch did not take that for an answer, convinced me to tell them why I wasn’t eating, and then took it upon themselves to explain it all to me and teach me about Hagelslag, which are chocolate sprinkles that they put on toast. They eat it on just buttered bread but I prefer it on peanut butter (though they think this is very weird, I think it is better that way). There are also TINY SPECULAAS (kind of like gingerbread) COOKIES THAT THEY PUT ON TOAST???? And they have the AUDACITY to make fun of us for Pop Tarts! This “eating at work” situation also led to the next American who got hired asking me if I could teach him to use the toaster at work and me admitting that I also did not know how to use the toaster (tbh I still don’t know how to use that toaster. Am I dumb or just American? I’m still not sure.)

Entering restaurants feels weirdly stressful because you do not know the norms. Can I sit anywhere? Is there a hostess? Am I breaking a rule? This is compounded by the difference in service standards between Europe and the US. In the US your servers are almost obnoxious how often they come to check on you. In Europe, sometimes you will sit down and they will ignore you for so long!! I think this is partly because they pay their servers a living wage and they don’t have to basically beg for tips (I’m looking at you America, get it together) and partly because I think Europeans don’t like to be bothered so much during their meals? Either way, when you don’t know what you’re doing and then you’re ignored for like 15 minutes you start to wonder if maybe you’re supposed to order at the bar or are they closed or WHAT IS HAPPENING? Especially if you are, like me, a relatively anxious person anyway!!

I have yet to enter a medical situation where we don’t have a weird stand off because I can’t fathom that they don’t want my money. The first time I went to a pharmacy they gave me the medicine and then I stared at them waiting for them to tell me how much it costs and they stared at me waiting for me to leave (because they just directly bill your insurance). Finally I said “…does this cost money?” and they said “No, your insurance pays for it.” and I felt very American. This happens pretty much every time I’m in a new medical situation (I had to go to the hospital to get an x-ray recently and I did pretty much the same thing!)

SPEAKING OF THE DOCTOR!! There is no “here is a gown and now I will leave the room while you get undressed” business. You can go to the doctor whenever you need for free (covered by your insurance) but they do not do a lot of preventative care - there is no blood pressure check, weighing, etc for every appointment. Usually you just sit in your regular clothes and talk to the doctor at a desk about your issue. If they do need to do an exam though, it is just “ok take off your clothes now while I stand right here!” and you do not get a paper gown - you’re just going to be weirdly naked on the table. This is the same if you go the chiropractor or get a massage. In general they are way less uptight about taking their clothes off so there is not a weird ritual dance around it. It is interesting (and mildly alarming?) to get used to.

How are you treated as an American?

The short answer here is that I don’t think I’m really treated any differently. I have not encountered any negativity or ill will being an American, both living here or traveling around. We’ve had a few people make fun of us or the country, but I can say that happens between all the EU countries as well and none of it has felt mean (the same as how all the states make fun of each other). Really the biggest downside is that when everyone plays “guess where my accent is from” at work (we have something like 80 nationalities represented) I always lose immediately because I say 2 words and they say “You’re American, next!” (I’ve also had a few comments of “you sound like the people in the movies” or “your English is so pretty”, which always makes me laugh).

It’s also presented some really interesting lessons for me on how pervasive our culture is globally. I genuinely had no idea how much of the world watches our movies and TV shows. I assumed every country had a Hollywood that created the same amount of entertainment, but this is not the case. The largest US export is entertainment. This also means that most people have a pretty good grasp on American culture, and also that they have a lot of very strange specific questions based on things they’ve seen on TV (does everyone have a pool? Does everyone lose their virginity on prom night? Do people really play Edward 40 Hands?) or foods that they want to try based on pop culture (somehow this always comes back to Pop Tarts and Macaroni and cheese?). It also means that I feel like a big jerk when they know everything about my culture and I know nothing about theirs. I asked someone early on if they knew what Thanksgiving was and they looked at me like I was very stupid and said “of course I do. It’s in all of your TV shows.” - which is a good point, but I didn’t know a single Dutch holiday before moving here!

Another fun thing is wandering through the grocery store and seeing all of the “American” products! They are usually pretty hilarious.

Meeting People

This one is hard because I was only here a few months before Corona hit. My company as well as Austin’s are very international so we’ve made friends through work for sure because there’s a ton of expats. I have heard from other americans (there is a facebook group for American expats here which has been both a hilarious source of drama to watch and also a lifeline for questions) that it can be quite hard to make friends with Dutch people, but personally we have not found this to be true.

I’ve also met friends through the aforementioned Americans in NL expat group. And a great source of making friends has been that early on in lockdown, we bought a bench to put outside our house so that we could sit in the sun. Because of who Austin is as a person, this means that we now know all of our neighbors and we’ve made some friends that way as well! Most of them are Dutch and they’ve been super friendly to us. Overall the country seems quite expat friendly and there really do seem to be quite a lot of us! Even just on our street there are lots of expats from different countries.

Language Barrier

The nice thing about living in the Netherlands (and one of the reasons we picked it) is that most people who live here speak English quite well. The national language is Dutch, so most signs/packaging/etc are in Dutch, but in your every day life (speaking to the clerk at the grocery store, ordering at a restaurant, etc) it is quite easy to get around in English.

I am trying to learn Dutch, but as it is the first language I have really tried to learn (not counting middle school Spanish) it is a bit of a struggle. The nice thing though is that Dutch people are SUPER helpful about it. They are SO EXCITED that you are even trying that they will hype you up about even trying. Austin (who is learning French and not Dutch ) has wildly mispronounced some Dutch words and is always congratulated enthusiastically for trying. It can also be pretty hilarious when you mess up - my neighbor is Dutch and is very patient with me learning (though his English is also good) and I decided to invite him over for a campfire via text in Dutch. I did not know the word for fire so I just looked it up on Google Translate and figured I’d just guess on the rest. It turns out that what I asked him was “Would you like to burn yourself tomorrow night?” instead of “Would you like to have a campfire with us tomorrow night?” Luckily he had a good sense of humor! He thought it was hilarious and taught me the proper way to ask.

The downside of everyone here speaking English is that sometimes if they can tell you are struggling in Dutch they will switch to English to help you. This is only frustrating if you really want to practice your Dutch, but most people seem to be pretty understanding if you tell them you’d like to practice.

It can be frustrating sometimes to not speak the language - google translate will become your best friend and it’s nice to find a very kind and helpful friend like I have who will help translate all of your important documents or who will call your doctors office and listen to the automated menu to tell you what button you need to press to get through to a real human (I have had to ask for this so many times now). I’ve also had to sit at a doctor’s office with the assistant as they translate the health questionnaire line by line for me so I can answer it. They are usually quite flexible and kind but it does make you feel a bit obnoxious sometimes.

Working Abroad

This one I think is a really variable experience. I work for a Dutch company but the tech team is very international. We have something like 80 nationalities represented! I think this is a bit different than if I was working at a Dutch company full of only Dutch people. Since we’re so international I think there is no real domination of one culture and we all end up teaching each other and talking about our different cultures. I have found this really fun and interesting and have had lots of conversations with coworkers where I’ve learned so much about other countries and customs! As far as working in general, I would say it’s not that different from working in the US as far as day to day life goes. If I didn’t work in tech I think this may be a different story, but tech companies in the US tend to be fairly laid back and flexible and have more generous vacation policies than others, so it wasn’t too huge of an adjustment. The sick leave policy of Europe is nice, which is a contrast to the US overall (you don’t have to use your vacation days if you get sick and there’s not a limit to them - stay home and rest if you’re sick! No big deal! Get better!). I also have 25 vacation days, which is definitely more than I ever had in the US! That is really helpful for our travel plans (at least once COVID is over that is!). I think overall in Europe they are better at work-life balance than in the US.

Navigating Around

One really nice thing about Europe is that they are really good at public transportation. We do not have a car here and so far have really not needed one. I can get anywhere I need to get on public transportation fairly easily. I believe the public transportation in the Netherlands is more expensive than in some other parts of Europe, but I think overall it’s not too bad. A lot of employers will also cover the cost of public transportation if you live more than 10KM from the office, which I do! My commute to work is a 15 minute train ride and then a 20 minute ride on the metro to the office. Only Amsterdam and Rotterdam have a metro, the other cities you can get around by bus. Amsterdam also has trams in the center so there are a lot of options to get around!

This is also true of going to other countries - trains are pretty popular for this. You can take a train to so many places! It’s a really comfortable and nice way to travel overall, and if you buy your tickets ahead of time it’s fairly cheap (I can take a train to Paris in 3.5 hours for about €40!).

Flights are also relatively inexpensive and short to get around Europe. We have traveled more by plane than by train just because of time constraints, but we both much prefer trains when possible. We’ve also flown to one country and then taken trains around while there (like in Austria, we flew to Vienna because it was a bigger airport and then took an easy train to Salzburg).

As far as riding all these options in the Netherlands, it’s pretty easy to figure out. Once you buy your card for public transportation, we just use google maps to see which lines to take and what stops to get on/off of. It’s pretty simple to figure out once you know how it works, and there are usually plenty of signs. For the times when I was new and didn’t know what was going on (or when things were going weird), I’ve found that Dutch people on the train are happy to explain and help you out if you ask!

The other thing that is super common in the Netherlands to get around is biking! This is my primary method of transportation where I live. There is bike parking basically everywhere and amazing infrastructure for bikes. There are actually more bikes than people in this country! I have seen Dutch people biking with suitcases, cases of beer, Christmas trees even! They are amazing. I am not as good but I really enjoy biking everywhere, it’s good exercise and simpler than trying to find parking spaces for a car.

Quality of Life

This is an interesting one, and in relation to the US I think it also depends a bit on where you’re coming from. One thing I will say is that there is something really nice about knowing that there are underlying safety nets for a lot of things. For example, I know that if I end up in the hospital for something I won’t also end up going bankrupt. It’s crazy how those kind of worries exist in the US and are just a low key thing you have to worry about (I need medical treatment! Can I afford medical treatment? How can I find this medication for a price I can afford?! These are all questions we don’t have to worry about here!)

Groceries here seem cheaper and fresh food seems more readily available for a better price point. I can find lots of bags of pre-chopped vegetables (something that I think can be really nice) in every supermarket, fresh salads, fresh smoothies/juices, fresh baked bread, and things like that seem to be cheaper and more readily available. We have also found that we cook more of our own food here, though this could also be because we aren’t huge fans of the food scene here like we were in Portland!

I also feel safer here, but I think that could also depend on where you live - that probably varies from city to city, but the city we live in feels very safe and that is a really nice reassurance.

Positive outcomes

I think that this experience in a year has already changed me a lot. I feel like I have a much broader understanding of the world and I’m still learning all the time. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know people from so many different backgrounds and learn from them.

I’ve also gotten much better at geography - I’m still not good, but I’ve definitely learned a lot and try to pay more attention now!

You also learn to appreciate things about the way you grow up and where you’re from, and even some food - it is crazy how excited you get about Captain Crunch when you haven’t seen any good cereal in months! Every time I go to an expat store I buy all kinds of stuff I didn’t even think I missed because OMG THEY HAVE CHEETOS LET’S GET THEM!!! Things I never bought in the US are suddenly the most exciting thing in the world.

There are things I miss about the US sometimes - my family and friends of course, the food, the way that everything seems so readily available, the ridiculous amount of flavors and varieties of every food that we have available to us, being able to readily understand everyone who speaks to me and read my mail!!!, but overall I think this has been one of the most valuable experiences of my life and I can’t wait to see what else I learn in year two (and I can’t wait to resume traveling once this COVID situation is a bit better!)